Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
