sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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