you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
