You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize