I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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