Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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