the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im holly from the hills drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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