i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
