i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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