I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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