i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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