I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize