We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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