This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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