you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
