seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
