Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
