I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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