lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
