is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
