While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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