Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
