just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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