oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
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His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I will be naked everywhere
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize