put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
