I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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