I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
