I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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