Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
