God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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