we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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