How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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