Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
