just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
