Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
