yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
