I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
