highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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