will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
