At least make sure they are 18
Why
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
