My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
