Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
