Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
