Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize