I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
