I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
