Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
