O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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