Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I die, sorry about rent.