I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.