what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
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i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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