Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
