My hand turned me down
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize