before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
