Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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