I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
