so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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