i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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