all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize