things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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