I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize